I self-published my first novel Bitter in 2014. It's hard to believe that it's been seven years! So much has changed since then. During that time I was trying to recover from the trauma that comes with divorce. I was stressed but remained hopeful. Writing Bitter was therapeutic. Holding the published novel in my hands was exciting and gratifying. Every time I drop a new book it's like I've birthed a literary baby. The labor pains are always worth the reward in the end.
Since Bitter I've written Still Bitter, Bitter Family Secrets, Stereotyped, Selfish Women's Group and I've created the Selfish Women's Group Journal. Not only have I done that but I have also created an apparel line that honors those that have overcome adversity; followed up by the creation of two self-care group for women and men. That has been my last seven years.
My birthday is at the end of this month. I don't know if any of you do this, but I treat my birthday just like folks treat the New Year's holiday. Each year around this time I question what is next for me. How will I push myself this year? What will I create this year? How will what I create be a tool to serve? What conversations do I want to start and continue? This year I'm asking all of those same questions and two more. How will I balance all of that creative energy with self-care? How will I serve from a place of abundance?
I have to be honest. Writing books, selling apparel, running groups and having speaking engagements simultaneously had me serving from a place of depletion. If you are a natural giver that button rarely shuts off. Telling myself to give less is not realistic. Telling myself to stop doing as many things as I do isn't going to happen either. What I need to do is create space and time to give more to myself. I know some of you can relate.
I've been preaching to women to be selfish with self care since 2017 and I still struggle with it. I don't preach it because I'm great with it. I preach it because I know what happens to you when you don't make yourself a priority; when you are not selfish with self-care. I created the "Beware of Strong Black Womanitis" t-shirt for me and women like me. Women that need a reminder to do a check-in with themselves; that's my tribe.
If what I'm writing is speaking to you I encourage you to join the Selfish Women's Group Facebook Group and attend our meetings. It's an opportunity to be a part of a self-care sisterhood. The group has it's own novel, t-shirts, journal, coffee mug and Spotify playlist! In the meantime I'll be thinking about my birthday and ways that I can implement some more balance into my life. At the end of the day balance is what self-care comes down to. Don't you agree?
Until next month!
Signed The Birthday Girl